Popular Opinion

So God, why is it that you have one “Standard” but yet even your believers cannot agree?

Why must I get the "I'm a good person" speech, which is absurd considering every man in his own eyes is going "good". What is good exactly? Where is the standard, what is the "bar"?

I have gotten to the point that I have so many friends that I talk with (acquaintances mainly) that I forget who believes the same as me and who doesn't.

So why is it then that even those who claim to love you argue and bicker over essential things that pertain to faith and holiness?? Why is it that I don’t even like to fellowship with people cause I hate arguing and telling people that their view is skewed and their thinking flawed?

1.) Why do I feel like I can’t go to church and find a soul to share my struggles with because inevitably it always comes back to bite me in the ass? What I mean is this, it never fails to amaze me that even though we are “called to have a mentor to express our sins to” I’ve had such horrible luck that I typically get my “sins” are gossiped all over the church or spread around amongst small groups?? I feel as though I would much rather stuff everything that has ever bothered me inside, WAY inside, than to share it with someone, because history has proven that they will blab about it and are not trust worthy?

Is this just a flaw that the church has? Is this just because we deal with people who sin? Is it too much to ask for a friend that will keep confidences that will stand by me no matter what I say, pray with me and help me back up when I fall under that temptation again? Is it simply selfish pride that holds me from drawing closer to you??

2.) Why is it then that when I find people that I know I can trust and try to talk to them, they are too busy or don’t seem to care? Aren’t we called to love? Aren’t we called to serve? I feel as though I need to be clean and conquer this stuff prior to “ministering” ‘but it never fails, I’m always struggling with something! Typically I then walk away or “lie” about how I’m doing because it’s apparent they could really care less.

Do I simply rely on you for everything? Or do I really need someone to stand with me through stuff that I struggle with? I think this goes back to the old faithful “Why do I need to go to church, I’ve been hurt by people at church and I’m just going to have church right here at my house!” theory. Well God’s word does say that we “ought not to forsake the gathering together of believers…” could it be that God meant what he said for a reason!?

There is no sarcasm in my tone, with these questions. I’m seriously asking because I’m not sure.
Am I a prude!? What is the matter with me? Why is it when I talk to people about this that they look at me like I’m crazy, like I have no justification, and am arrogant to think that I am “right” in this matter? Or then I get the “We need to learn to pick our battles!” speech from people. Is it too much to ask that I would like peace and not discourse in my own home, my own dwelling?? In my quest to “grow up”, I feel more out of control with my current life than I think I did when I was living under my parents household.

Why is it that I am questioning everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING that is within me? Did I do this right? Will I screw up my kids? Will they be little “prudes” living in a glass box for all to see, never getting out until it’s too late and they are faced with all the temptations of life going, “what the heck do I do now???”

Everything within me is being shaken. I don’t want to be religious, I want to love and extend mercy, and I want to extend forgiveness and not judgement, but at the same time I want to stand for what is right, what is right and holy! These are all the things I want flowing in my life, but I don’t understand how to get them or what to do to bring them about.

I feel lost, kind of like that one time when I couldn’t find my parents at the fair and I freaked out! I didn’t know what to do….

God what have I gotten myself into? Why am I so confused and shaken in my faith?

Why do I even worry about what people think?? I want to be over this SO badly I could pull my hair out!!!

Why do I care about popular opinion, even if it’s my own?

Uncertainty

Why is it that life is always filled with uncertainty?

We're not sure why we're here, and we're not sure if there's a purpose.

My heart hurts today. Someone had some pretty hateful things to say about me, and it makes it even worse that it's someone I care about a lot.

I really hate the whole, well I'll just give you a hug then, and everything will be fine afterwards right? Not really. You said some pretty hurtful things and you at least need to apologize for them. That's a start.

Do I think it will happen? Probably not. I'm lacking in faith right now. I'm suppose to be "extending mercy" but I'm having a hard enough time not being infuriated with this person for doing something so hateful. Guess it was my fault cause if i hadn't been "snooping" in their personal effects I would have never known that they had said it about me. BUT at the same time I figure if your willing to talk to your friends about me then you must really feel this way about me! I don't talk about you this way, why can't you respect me enough not to do the same?

I hate this double standard crap. It's frustrating and hurtful.