Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Tight Pants


Sometimes I wonder why life is so unfair. Well I guess "unfair" isn't exactly the word I'm looking for, "ridiculous" might work or possible "really dumb".


Why do we have to have decades that focus fashion on different areas of the body?
The 90's for example focused more on cute short skirts and strappy shoes. Don't get me wrong, I love strappy shoes, but to put my legs in a short skirt would require two things:

1.) Willingness

2.) The nerve to tromp around as if I have no cares in the world as I hear, "Whoa would you look at the size of those legs!!" from the younger more apt to open their big-mouth-crowd.


Yeah. You heard right, I got 'them legs'. You know the ones where you look and go, "Whoa she works out! It must have taken her MONTHS to get them that huge, and with steroids too!"


No. For all you ignorant people out there, my legs are just shaped this way. If I run they slim out some, but lifting weights tends to help the muscle stay put that much more, and makes them look just that much bigger.


So seriously, I'm trying to decide why it's so important to 'dress in fashion'. So what if I'm still wearing bell bottoms (okay. "boot cut", we're not born in the 60's!) they flatter my figure and make them legs look LONNGGEERR!


Don't even get me started on the 80's! Whoever thought it would be a good idea to find the stretchiest material possible and make us squeeze our 'fat' rears into them was nuts! I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd love to have tooth-pick legs, and a non-existent butt, but I don't, and squeezing into them makes me look like a drunk native walking down the streets of down-town-Fairbanks drunk off my ars.


So here's to you 90's! I'll forever wear them "boot cut" pants. And when I'm 45, and I'm walking down the street amidst mumbles of,


"Uh 1990 called and they want their pants back!", I'll look at them and smile cause I've already seen the 70's come into fashion at least 4 times, and it's so not cool anymore.


At least what I'm wearing will be cool in another 7-10 years or so.


Except for the hair of course.

2 comments:

mornin'lady said...

jack-o, I am tagging you - meaning you need to go to my blog, copy and paste the Christmas Meme and fill in your own answers and post it on your blog - if you want to. then tag anyone else if you know anyone by leaving them a comment like I did you

Jacki said...

Umm okay, I'm a bit confused but ok.