Ug

35.5 weeks and boy am I getting tired....

Dan left on Monday for another 4-week-stint up North. Don't get me wrong I love the paychecks but being this close and not having him here with me really sucks.

The kids have been staying with me (well Demi) mainly, since Dan left. He told her that she needed to "be him". Which is comical in itself considering she considers this "yelling, using 'the tone' and taking stinky dumps". Funny. I told her I needed help with the house work because that stuff is getting harder for me to deal with on a regular basis. We'll see how that goes.

Dan asked Dani if she could stay with me for a bit, so I think she might come over and stay in a week or so just until Dan gets back. So I might have a full house for a while.

Guess that's better than being totally alone.

At this point I have 30 days left until this kids is "supposed" to be here. Not that, that means anything but it's a point to focus on for the time being.

My legs and feet are so freaking swollen I can barely get the biggest shoes I own, ON. Which is frustrating. So I try to walk around barefoot as much as I possibly can. Or put my feet up. Of course today I have a massive head ache which is bugging the crap out of me but manageable.

Everyone is being real great and compassionate but at the same time saying that "I'd better get ready, because the sleep is only going to get worse".

I wonder what this kid is going to be like? She hasn't moved that much since my getting bigger. I'm "officially" pregnant now. Can't hide it unless I layered profusely and told everyone that I was just "heavy on top". Yeah. Right. I even ran into this friend I used to have the other day, we were both trying to get pregnant the last time I saw her. Well she stopped coming to church and was never able to get pregnant and I was. When she saw me she said with disdain in her voice "you got PREGNANT." *huff* and i'm like "uhhhh sorry...."

How gay. What am I supposed to apologize for getting pregnant? First off, I've already lost one baby, and I don't have any kids. You have 3 beautiful girls. Can't you at least wish me luck or something? Doubt it.

Anyways...heads pounding I need to get going or go for a walk.

Heads up, chins forward....it'll only get better.