This wacky-crazy, thing we call life

It's simply amazing to me how each day brings something new to us. How everyday we learn new things about our selves and grow up a bit more. It amazes me more that I still have all the hair on my head and not all of them are gray yet!

The past few years I have been very nervous or almost petrified of growing older. It was almost like I felt like my teen-age (fun) years had passes by and yet I "hadn't even gotten to do anything fun yet!!" I kept hearing all these grown-ups around me talking about how much they loved their 20's and then 30's and even their 40's were "awesome".

I've decided that I'm going to enjoy my life, no matter what it brings!

I have an awesome family, 2 hilarious step daughters, a loving and patient husband, 2 amazing parents, 2 awesome brothers, an AWESOME sister-in-law, nieces, nephews, and the list goes on and on. I am so blessed, so touched to be able to have the opportunity to have my family near me! So honored that they would allow me a part in their lives and to make history.

I look back on on the "difficulties" that I'd complain about on a daily basis and how horrible the drama was in my life. But as Pastor Jeff was talking about today, it's amazing to see the character that God was able to build in my life during all of those fights, and struggles. I see myself as so much stronger of a person, more patient (working on this one daily, *sigh*) more respectful, hopeful, and loving. I see my step daughters growing up, taking baby steps and maturing into responsible adults, and it makes my heart glad.

I used to think, God, did I do the right thing? Was I cut out for this, I CAN'T do this!!! And to watch him change my heart, grow me up and do big things in my family. I look back and say, I would SO do this all over again. I would marry this man again, fight, bicker, grow, love, share memories, EVERYTHING. I would do it all again. Just because it is SO worth it. I think that it could have turned out so not like this, it could have turned out horrible!!

But we don't serve a God, that would give us a 'stone' for a 'fish', He's not a God to turn and leave us when we need Him most. I can't believe its taken me this long to figure out, I'm way to stubborn sometimes!! But He is good, and HE is patient! Thanks God! Look where we'd all be if he got bored, or impatient and left us along-side the road one of these days?! We'd be sunk.

My husband is coming home tomorrow. I am so excited! I haven't seen him for 3 weeks!!! And it feels like a lifetime! I pray that his time home will be well spent, that he'll get to enjoy the time with his girls, hang out with friends, do things that makes his heart happy. He is worth so much to me, I don't even think he realizes that! And even when I try to explain, he gets confused and says, "well why didn't you just say that you loved me, you don't have to write a book?!"

Well I guess that is what my blog is for, writing my "books".

Life is good, GOD IS GOOD!

...All things work together for good for those that love God and are called according to His purposes!....

4am

Okay, well last night as I was getting ready for bed I'm like,

"Wow, I'm SO tired, I'm glad it's Christmas break from work! I'm gonna sleep in till like 10am or so!!"

Went to bed.

Woke up at 430am STARVING. I'm laying there going, you've got to be kidding me? I've been sleeping for 5 hours and I'm this hungry? I'm going back to bed....

Nope, not happening. So I'm not sure what the deal was. Maybe it was because I went to the gym and exercised for a bit yesterday (15 minutes of aerobics! Come on!!) Oh well. I texted Dan to see what he's doing and I get a....

"I'm feeling up the VAC truck." This of course makes me laugh. I'm all about misspelling and texting. Especially when it's 430am and I should be sleeping.

Phone is finally dieing. It's about time, you know these new phones never work properly unless you let them die completely the first time after you get it. So now I'm subject to the obnoxious *beeping* it's forced upon me as I sit here wondering if I can go back to bed yet.

Hmmmm.

Think I'll hit the floss and then make my way to bed. Ta-ta, blogging world.

Jordan with a "G"?

Okay, so since Dan and I assume that we are having a girl (80% chance) we have been running around with different girl names to see which ones we like the best.

First we liked, "Jayden", but after the ultra sound I decided I didn't really think she looked like a Jayden so I changed my mind.

Next we moved to "Jordan", not to feminine yet still cute at the same time. I loved the name and was trying to figure out what kind of a name we could use for her middle name. So one day I called Demi to see what she thought. The last time I had spoken with her, she had come up with a beautiful name that I loved but for some reason i could not remember it for the life of me. Here's how the conversation went...

"Hey Demi, your Dad and I are having a problems coming up with names and you came up with some great ones the other day, so I thought you could help."

She says, "Oh ok, what is the first name you like?"

"Jordan"

"Oh cool! How are you going to spell "Jordan"??"

So I'm thinking, well Jordan with an "a" is feminine or with a "y" is also feminine....then Demi says to me...interrupting my thought pattern...

"I think you should name her "Jordan" with a "G"..... long pause.....

I'm thinking, 'um is she joking??' NOPE, not joking, dead serious.

Then I said, "Um Demi..."Jordan with a "G" spells 'Gordan'....."

"No it doesn't! You know, like "Jorge" with a 'J'....???!!!"

"I said, well that's technically pronounced...." (I can't spell that phonetically.....he he he...you all know what I'm 'trying to say.

And Demi goes, "Oh." "I guess your right."

So apparently the favorite is a little girl named, "Gordan", I mean we'll give it some thought but um....I'm thinking....

no.

Dani

I had to write this one as well...

This will be my third blog for the day but it is well worth writing.

I have this step daughter, her name is Dani. I went to a presentation that she did the other day and it was AMAZING. I thought over and over again if I should go, I didn't want to embarrass her, but I really wanted to be there because it was a big final and she was really nervous about how she was going to do.

The presentation was in her Government class and she would read a speech in front of Legislators, borough assembly members, faculty, even past Government students. After the speech they would have an in-prompt round of questions that the students would have to answer to the best of their abilities.

Now you have to know Dani. She likes to be prepared for stuff, so when the question time came around I could tell she was pretty nervous about what she was going to say. Her speech went so smoothly, she spoke with confidence and even projected her voice so that even I could hear her from way back in the auditorium. Once the questions started, her confidence did not waiver.

She was embarrassed a time or two as she seemed a bit flustered by her answer. But she did AMAZINGLY! I cannot express with words how proud I was of her at that moment!!! She managed to answer questions, with diplomacy and tact, confidence and even let her personality show as she answered each question.

Once the team was done presenting, the judges began their assessments. The main judge was simply amazed at how well and how eloquent the group was. And how smoothly they were able to work with each other, even disagree on points with each other but yet still make the presentation smooth.

I was so proud of her in that moment, I wished her Dad could have been there with me. He would have loved it! After she was done presenting I went to see her, with relief in her teary eyes I gave her a huge hug and complimented her on how impressed I was with her and her presentation. It was such an exciting moment as a step mom, my heart beat so proudly and I boasted about her and her presentation the rest of the day, to anyone that would listen! Lord knows I talked to any one who would listen! :)

Life is good. I love being a step mom, I am so proud.

The kids are growing up, and I'm so proud of them.


ahhhh. *sigh*

One more day and Dani is totally done with high school, I can hardly believe it. Seems like just yesterday I was kicking her in the head for laying in the middle of the floor in the dark.

Ha ha! ;)

The somberero

My ultimate, most enjoyable experiences in life are embarrassing my Mother! Then there's my husband, then there's Dani. (I'd embarrass Demi, but I don't think there's a possibility that I could ever pull that off!!) Don't know why, but I love jerking these guys and their "chains". It's quite a fun hobby and worthy of every effort I can contribute to them.

In fact, when my Grandmother was still here, we would literally gang up on Mom and tease her mercilessly and BOY was IT FUN! (I miss you Grandma!)

ha ha.

So my Mom, she's easy. All I have to do is buy something for my Father to wear that I know will make her SO mad. The last 2 years my husband and I have gone on cruises and every time we are in Mexico I look for a sombrero for him to wear.

PROBLEM

How the heck do you bring a sombrero all the way back from Mexico without crushing it!?!? I pondered this for the last two years and have not figured it out at all. Finally on my first cruise I gave up on that idea and found him something that is even more funny!

We went into Jamaica and I managed to find a ROSTA man hat for him. Okay now you have to picture this. A Jamaican hat with real hair smashed into dreads, glued into the hat. (MUCH easier to transport.) So I bring the hat home and not only does he wear it, he wears it on a CAMPING TRIP. (see next blog) Here is what happened next.

So it's about 130am and my Dad, and I, Andrew my cousin and Aaron and his family are all resting at a rest stop about 1 mile out of Delta. We see this guy coming down the road "bobtail" (or for those of you non-truckers, this means without a trailer) jerking and lurching and grinding gears like he's trying to make sausage.

All of us are quite confused and not sure what is going on. Did he steal the truck? Is he drunk? Is he seriously THAT bad of a driver!?

Well lucky us, the poor schmuck pulls into the rest stop that we were at, (our) mouths agape and staring as he slams the breaks on the poor truck and skids to a stop. We're still trying to figure out what is going on, when the guy turns around and proceeds to make his way outside of the rest stop going back the way he came. At this point in time, his side door (to his tools) swings open and is slamming up against the side of the truck as he's skidding and lurching and trying desperately to find gears that I'm sure were hiding the best they could for fear of losing all feeling themselves.

I point to the box and my Dad sees it again and goes running out into the road, RASTAMAN hat on, orange soda in his right hand, waiving wildly and pointing. (ha ha ha)

The poor man, SLAMS on his breaks rolls down his window and leans out as this crazy bearded white RASTA MAN, (with orange soda) proceeds to yell at him about his tool box being open. The scared fellow, jumps out of the truck, slams the door as quickly as he can and jumps back in quicker than you can say, "YA-MON!!!" and screeches away.

It was then, after a roar of laughter that my poor father realizes why the man was so scared as we pointed to the hat on his head and his obvious, drunk-like actions.

I have to say, we laughed ALL the way to Chitna.

Here's to you Mom! I love embarrassing you! And boy is it going to be worth it when I find that dang sombrero!!!

*wink*

Can't you see me???

Okay so the other day, I had this nice long coversation with my aunt dawn and she told me the funniest thing that I just HAD to write about.

So apparently they are getting set up on "blogging" and my uncle Shaun, (whom i adore) is really getting into it. When he works his rotation, he's constantly e-mailing my aunt dawn checking in and such. When I asked her why he doesn't do IM, she informed me that e-mail was about all that we could handle "at this point" and that IM would be another task in itself for another "day in time". I laughed at this but totally understood what she meant, because my dear, DEAR Father is exactly the same way.

You have to think back to your own version of your "Father" as I explain my Dad to you.

OKAY....

So think of the hardest working man you can possibly thing of, now add on, have to do everything and I do mean EVERYTHING, in the most difficult round-about-way.

Example:
Going Camping = Packing the red neck RV with enough food to feed an army for atleast 3 weeks in case we get stuck somewhere, the winter comes 5 months early, snows us in, and we get our regular food trampled by a herd of buffalo. The "RV" consists of a large box truck, packed with 2 four wheelers, 2 HUGE mattresses and enough acccesories to last a large family for 2 weeks straight.

Now picture this, my Dad "trying to use a computer".
This consists of, my Dad trying to use "GOOGLE" to enter in web addresses (he doesn't know what these are either), but he's trying to enter them where ever there are "open boxes" on any web page available. Then when he gets stuck, he inevitably loses whatever "page" he is working on by minimizing it and it has dissapeared from view down to the toolbar below. He then proceeds to freak out and "WHERE did that little box go!!?!"

Mind you my mother is standing in the corner, doing dishes, ignoring the cry for help as she rolls her eyes mercilessly. (ha ha) I try to help him, but it never fails, everytime I come over and show him something on the computer I have to show him the same thing again the next time I come over and it's quite tiring to say the least.

So for most of the time, I simply ask him to let me do it or I try not to be in the living room when he is trying to navigate the computer.

Back to Uncle Shaun....so when I was talking to Aunt Dawn the other day I started laughing histerically when she told me that Shaun had written her and with a frustrated tone to his "e-mail" said,

"CAN'T YOU SEE ME!!! ANSWER ME!!"

Ha ha!! Okay, so back to IM, I have to show my uncle how to IM, so his wife can "see him".

Ta ta for now!!!

Tight Pants

Sometimes I wonder why life is so unfair. Well I guess "unfair" isn't exactly the word I'm looking for, "ridiculous" might work or possible "really dumb".

Why do we have to have decades that focus fashion on different areas of the body?

The 90's for example focused more on cute short skirts and strappy shoes. Don't get me wrong, I love strappy shoes, but to put my legs in a short skirt would require two things:

1.) Willingness

2.) The nerve to tromp around as if I have no cares in the world as I hear, "Whoa would you look at the size of those legs!!" from the younger more apt to open their big-mouth-crowd.

Yeah. You heard right, I got 'them legs'. You know the ones where you look and go, "Whoa she works out! It must have taken her MONTHS to get them that huge, and with steroids too!"

No. For all you ignorant people out there, my legs are just shaped this way. If I run they slim out some, but lifting weights tends to help the muscle stay put that much more, and makes them look just that much bigger.

So seriously, I'm trying to decide why it's so important to 'dress in fashion'. So what if I'm still wearing bell bottoms (okay. "boot cut", we're not born in the 60's!) they flatter my figure and make them legs look LONNGGEERR!

Don't even get me started on the 80's! Whoever thought it would be a good idea to find the stretchiest material possible and make us squeeze our 'fat' rears into them was nuts! I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd love to have tooth-pick legs, and a non-existent butt, but I don't, and squeezing into them makes me look like a drunk native walking down the streets of down-town-Fairbanks drunk off my ars.

So here's to you 90's! I'll forever wear them "boot cut" pants. And when I'm 45, and I'm walking down the street amidst mumbles of,

"Uh 1990 called and they want their pants back!", I'll look at them and smile cause I've already seen the 70's come into fashion at least 4 times, and it's so not cool anymore.

At least what I'm wearing will be cool in another 7-10 years or so.

Except for the hair of course.

The need, the need for SPEED

Okay I have to admit, being pregnant has thrown me for quite a loop!

When I first got pregnant I was doing pretty much everything "as normal", including running, lifting some weights etc...I saw no problem with any of it at all. My speed simply seemed to involuntarily get slower and I was tired all the time.

This was until about week 8...

At week 8, my morning sickness started and didn't ease up until...oh... about 12 wks or so. I couldn't eat as cleanly as I wanted and in fact, I couldn't eat anything I wanted!

Crackers, white bread, carbs and MORE carbs!!

I dreaded the weight I was going to gain and was envious of the run(s) I could not take. I managed to move my entire apartment (with some help on the big furniture) to my new place almost entirely by myself. (Dan was working) I had EVERYTHING in there, when I realized I needed to get the t.v. set up before Dan got home 3 days later. I bent over grabbed the big sucker and...

!*CRACK*!

...managed to herniate yet another disc in my lower back.

This dumb mistake caused me to be out of work for approximately 5 weeks as I recovered and got used to sitting and standing again. I was still eating HORRIBLY, or eating what I could.

By the time I had my next OB visit I had managed to lose an incredible 11lbs in 30 days!!!

Well normally I'd be exstatic losing that kind of weight in that amount of time, but not WHILE PREGNANT!!

I was freaking out.

The doctor was assuming it was because of my lack of activity and also because 'baby' was taking anything and everything that baby wanted to eat. Leaving me with pretty much nothing, even though my meals were high in calories and de-void of nutrition.

Well to make this "novel" short, or atleast (shorter than it would be), my point is that despite the injury or even just plain because of it, I miss my running more than anything! I wish I could throw on my shoes and my grippers (code for: anti-slip grips) and head out on a cool crips day to ward off any and all stress coming my way.

Unfortunately, my balance, tummy, back and other things are preventing me from running, and my legs are feeling the brunt of my inactivity. Although I have to admit, it's taken me almost 5 months to feel the effects of inactivity, poor diet and the like, it's depressing non-the-less.

So here's to you, "running", I miss ya. And I know you'll be there once this kid pops, but I wish I could see ya sooner. You'll be missed.

Oh yeah, and I think I might just buy a jogging stroller in your honor! ;)

Pregnant

Well, as most of you know I am having a baby! It's taken us quite a few years to 'take' but we are very exciting for what is to come.

During the ultra sound last month we were eagerly awaiting the words "it's a BOY!". Dan sat in his chair with baited breath, trying to peak at the hidden screen as often as he could. The techs laughed a few times as they watched baby move and "dance on my cervix" and we were lucky enough to witness some of it with our own eyes.

Then the tech turned to us and said,

"We have a general rule as Ultra Sound Techs, 1.) If the hands are "down there" it's a boy. 2.) If the lips are 'a flappin' it's a girl."

We then were able to see the screen as they turned the t.v. towards us. After a few minutes the baby started moving its mouth and swallowing and moving around. Finally baby turns around and looks right at us (it appeared so) and opened up it's mouth in this HUGE grin. It was the most hillarious and yet amazing thing I think I've ever seen.

Needless to say the word on the streets is that we have an 80% change that it's a girl. Dan was a bit dissapointed but nodded his head in a "Go figure" sort of way.

I think Dani puts it best when she told her Father,

"Dad, you just have to face it, you don't have any male sperm in your entire body!"

The life of a "blogger"

One would normally stop and think, "OK. Now what the heck is a 'blog'?"

A good friend of mine tried to introduce me into the world of "blogging" about 8 weeks ago but for some reason I never managed to get one off the ground.

I like the idea of a BLOG over say... MYSPACE, or any other online form of communicating, or 'journaling'. But I am weary about how well I can manage to put my thoughts down on paper or shall we say 'screen'.

So be easy on me, Internet Land, I'm a "greenie"
(and no laughing Greg, I'm no writing pro like you. Just a crazy North Pole-hick-home-schooler.)